A DylanMind Production
Characters:
Humpty Dumpty
Sunny Side Up, the Egg Chef
Egg Girls 1,2,3
Toast Ed
Bacon Sheriff
Egg Detectives 1,2,3
Egg Girls 1,2,3 and Toast Ed enter stage left.
Egg Girls 1,2,3: La la la la la!
Toast Ed: Singing. Another one bites the crust, and another one does and another one does, another one bites the crust…
Both stop at door. Humpty enters through door/curtain.
Humpty: Welcome to Breakfastville! Come enjoy Sunny Side Up’s restaurant, The Scrambled Egg!
Egg Girl 1: Oh boy! Let’s try it!
Girls and Toast Ed go in door, wait, and then come out.
Detective 3: Behind billboard. Fling! Then puts fake cooked egg on top of board. Makes it look like someone flipped it from curtain. Does not show appearance.
Humpty: Looks up to billboard. What? Sunny should really stop flipping eggs that high! Now I have to get it!
Sheriff: Enters stage right. What on earth are you doing?
Humpty: I am going to get that egg up there on the wall. Points to egg.
Sheriff: Let me tell you a little story. Every soul that climbs that wall disappears!
Girls 1,2,3, Toast Ed: Shreeeeek!! Humpty looks afraid.
Sheriff: Every single detective we have can’t solve this terrible crime. All we know is that The Scrambled Egg never runs out of food! It’s a mystery!
Girl 1: It’s a case!
Girl 2: It’s a crime!
Girl 3: It’s a puzzle!
Toast Ed: It’s pure insanity!
Humpty: It is an egg salad sandwich! Girls and Sheriff walk away stage left.
Toast Ed: Look Humpty, they’re just trying to scare you. I would do it. Nudges Humpty toward wall. Humpty climbs up wall and takes egg.
Humpty: Humpty climbs wall. Yikes! This… this is really high! I don’t know how to… woah! Humpty goes behind billboard.
Toast Ed: Oh hot jelly man! Leaves while talking stage right. Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!
Sheriff (offstage): He did what!?
Girls 1,2,3: Enters stage right. La la la la la! Stop at door.
Girl 3: That is strange. Humpty is usually here to greet us. Toast Ed enters stage left. Looks sad.
Sheriff: Enters stage right. Humpty as well has disappeared.
Girls 1,2,3 cry.
Sheriff: This looks like a job for the Eggtastics!
Detective 1,2,3 enter stage right.
Detective 1: We are fantastic! We’re the Eggtastics!
Detective 2: We’ll solve this crime and we will do it just in time!
Detective 3: We are the detectives of this place and I should say, we have great taste!
Detectives 1,2,3: Eggtastics!
Sheriff: Detectives! Humpty has disappeared from the infamous wall!
Detective 1: I think the sun cooked him while he was on top of the wall!
Detective 2: Maybe evil sardines ate him up!
Detective 3: I think a UFO sucked him up and now he is on Mars! The aliens are going to destroy earth with egg guts! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!
Sheriff: Sigh. I think we should look at our clues.
Detective: We should have a lineup! Ladies, gather all our suspects!
Girls 1,2,3 line up along with Egg Chef.
Detective 1: Ladies, where were you when Humpty Dumpty vanished?
Girl 2: Walking home, sir.
Detective 2: They must be innocent, Sheriff! What were you doing when this case started?
Sheriff: Walking home as well, sir.
Detective 3: Innocent! Hmmm….wait a minute, Toast Ed! What about you?
Toast Ed: I think this young fellow might be the one. Points to Egg Chef.
Detective 1: That is it! He was the closest one to Humpty when he disappeared!
Detective 2: It was he that flipped the egg trying to lure Humpty Dumpty onto the wall!
Detective 3: His restaurant has been stealing eggs so he has more food for his restaurant! Arrest him! Points to chef.
Sheriff: Good work, men! Grabs Egg Chef by the arm.
Chef: Nooooo!
Sheriff: Mystery solved!
Detective 1: A scheme scrambled!
Detective 2: Another case closed!
Detective 3: It is a crime ceased!
Girl 1: It is a riddle answered!
Girl 2: A fiasco blemished!
Toast Ed: A confusion cracked!
Girl 3: It is an egg sala-
Altogether: Humpty Dumpty, the mystery solved!
Detectives leave singing their song. Girls leave saying La la la! Toast Ed leaves singing “Another One Bites the Crust”. Sheriff leaves holding onto Chef.
